Since moving to NYC this summer, I’ve come across many people that have made an impact on me in some way. Some have made me sad wishing I could do more. Some have humbled me in unexpected ways. Others have scared or frightened me. Some have upset me and some have made me smile. It’s interesting the impact someone can have on you without even saying a word sometimes. I wanted to share a few of those interactions with you. I don’t know their names or their stories but I do know how they made me feel.
You learn quickly that most New Yorkers talk and walk fast with their heads down on a mission to get wherever they are going as quickly as possible. It’s rare to make eye contact with anyone on the street unless it’s a doorman on standby waiting for his residents to come home. I try to smile at people here like I did in Ohio but it is not received in the same way. I’m used to hellos and good mornings but here the best I get are shifty glances and people quickly looking away. It’s like no one interacts with each other – maybe because they are all on their mission and don’t have time for hellos or maybe it’s a deeply routed “don’t talk to strangers” mantra that has stuck.
Tourists are the only ones who seem to walk slowly looking at anything and everything they pass by causing pile ups of those on their mission to get backed up and frustratedly so. There is nothing more annoying when you are trying to make it across the street before the crosswalk changes than someone who just stops in the middle of the sidewalk to take a picture or to check their map on their phone without any regard to the people behind them. It’s honestly surprising to me that more people aren’t injured in the crosswalks as I see more people cross the street when the do not walk signal is lit up than when it is not.
I don’t know that you can call yourself a true New Yorker if you haven’t come in contact with the subway dancers, bucket drummers or singers. They get on your car for a stop or two to entertain you and then ask for money. I was a bit surprised the first time a break dancer was flipping up and down every which way on the poles around me barely missing my face with his shoe on one turn. I could smell the rubber soles as they grazed my cheeks ever so slightly. He then proceeded to say that I owed him because he didn’t kick me during his routine. I probably gave him the most puzzling of stares because he quickly moved on to ask the next person for their money. Some of the musicians are talented and you feel for them. Maybe they will get discovered some day or maybe they will continue to go car to car just to make ends meet. Where do these people go? Do they have jobs or do they really depend on us to get their next meal?
Getting off the subway you run into just as many characters. For several months I saw the same young girl sitting at the exit of my stop. She had straggly brown hair with a dirty face and swollen ankles. She held up a sign that read “Aged out of foster care. Please help.” I would always give her the snacks I carried around with me but I always left her wishing I could do more. Since it has gotten colder outside I haven’t seen her. I wonder if she found a warm place to sleep at night or if she is still on the streets somewhere.
There is another man I see often. He is normally smiling if he’s not sleeping on his suitcase. He cheerfully says hi to everyone who passes. His eyes light up and he gets a big grin on his face when he sees me because he has come to know me as the girl with snacks. He always seems so grateful and he thanks me every time. I went on a walk today and passed where he normally sits and he wasn’t there. I hope he is okay.
Others are not as nice to me when I offer my snacks. One night I was tired and had been out somewhere new and was trying to navigate a different subway station when I came in contact with a man begging for money for food. He told me he was so hungry and that anything would help. I reached in my purse to give him one of my bags of snacks and he threw it at me! What gives? I guess he wasn’t really hungry. I scrambled to pick up the bag up and put it back it my purse. Another night I was leaving my client site pretty late and I was on the phone with my then fiancé. He was always worried when I was walking alone – especially at night so we would talk from the time I left the building to the subway and from the subway home. A man approached me while I was talking and asked me for money for food and I reached in my purse without saying anything and started to hand him the snack bag. He refused and starting cursing at me telling me to get the f*$% away from him! I was shocked at his reaction but tried to maintain my composure without signaling to my fiancé that something was wrong. I don’t think he realized anything had happened at all.
There was also a dirty man with a suitcase in Central Park who looked tired and lonely. As I was walking by I went up to him and asked him if he wanted one of my snacks and he told me that while he was homeless, someone else had just given him some chips so I should save mine for someone who needed it more than he did. That touched my heart. Sometimes the less you have, the more you are aware of other’s needs. Whenever I’m having a bad day, I think of that man and remember that no matter how bad my day is, my basic needs are always met and I thank God for that.
I have more to share but as I’ve already pierced 1,000 words I’ll save the rest for next week. Until next time. ❤ Alicia
Alicia in the City 