My mom was a warrior

My mom was the best person I’ve ever known. I used to call her every single day – not just once or even twice – but multiple times a day. I called her in the morning before I went to work, on my way to work, sometimes at work, on my way home from work and before I went to bed at night. Sounds a bit much now but it didn’t seem like it then. She was not only my mom but also my best friend. I told her everything about my life. It didn’t matter how dull or unimportant something seemed or if it was wildly embarrassing. She was always there and always seemed to care. She was truly my biggest fan and biggest cheerleader.

My mom was also an accountant like me but looking back, I don’t remember ever thinking of my mom and equating her to her job. Even though she worked a ton, it never seemed to consume her and she never let her career define who she was. I need to remember that on a daily basis.

My mom was always, always, always there for me and my sister. No matter how much she worked, she found time to come to every single sporting event and dance recital, every cheerleading competition and the never ending swim meets that lasted all weekend. She was always there program in hand with our names highlighted, circled and starred and all the stats written down for not only us but our competition as well. When going through her things after she had passed away, I found several of those old programs with all of her notes written on them.

My mom was also a mom to all of our friends. Since she was always there, many of my friends developed a relationship with my mom. She was someone they could go to for advice or to look up to. I still look back and wonder how she did it all. She truly was wonder woman. I would give anything to go back to my high school days where everyone hung out at our place. We had pool parties and movie nights all summer long and my mom put up with us all ordering more Domino’s pizza than should be legally allowed. I get why her and my dad did it now. They knew where we were and they knew we were safe.

Nothing ever seemed to phase her. Even after being diagnosed with stage four breast cancer, she had a positive spirit about her. She would always say that you just never know how things will turn out and that you have to keep hope alive. No matter how many relapses she faced or the bad news she continued to hear time and time again, she never complained and never lost her faith. When the doctors told her she only had a 5% chance of making it 5 years, she showed them by making it 6. She was a warrior.

It’s my third mother’s day without my mom and I’ve had many ups and downs in my life since she’s been gone. From getting engaged and planning a wedding to getting my manager promotion and moving to New York City to having the engagement called off and living in a depressed state for a few months before waking up one day realizing that I am okay and to most recently getting elected to serve on my sorority’s International Council. These are ALL things that I would have given anything to be able to share with my mom. The good and the bad – the happy and the sad. There are some moments that the only thing that suffices is knowing that your mom is there. In some of my extreme moments of sadness I’ve caught myself saying I want my mom and I can almost feel her there with me. In moments of celebration and excitement, I often think she should be here with us. Nothing is the same without her.

She always said how proud of me she was for my dedication to my career and to the community. She loved seeing how involved I was and supported me in my endeavors no matter what they were. I so wish she was here now to see the woman I have become. I owe everything to her and I hope to continue living a life she would be proud of.

I carry my mom’s work bag now and I found a sticky note in it that says on the front “One day at a time” and on the back “Matthew 6:34.” It’s not in my mom’s handwriting so I have no idea who gave it to her but whoever you are, know that it must have meant something to her. And now it means something to me. We all need a reminder that all we have is now. So live your best life every day. You never know when it will be your last. I’m sure my mom never expected to leave this earth at the young age of 53 but she lived in those 53 years. Don’t wait to find out you’re dying to start living your life. The truth is that we all already are.