My mom was the best person I’ve ever known. I used to call her every single day – not just once or even twice – but multiple times a day. I called her in the morning before I went to work, on my way to work, sometimes at work, on my way home from work and before I went to bed at night. Sounds a bit much now but it didn’t seem like it then. She was not only my mom but also my best friend. I told her everything about my life. It didn’t matter how dull or unimportant something seemed or if it was wildly embarrassing. She was always there and always seemed to care. She was truly my biggest fan and biggest cheerleader.

My mom was also an accountant like me but looking back, I don’t remember ever thinking of my mom and equating her to her job. Even though she worked a ton, it never seemed to consume her and she never let her career define who she was. I need to remember that on a daily basis.

My mom was always, always, always there for me and my sister. No matter how much she worked, she found time to come to every single sporting event and dance recital, every cheerleading competition and the never ending swim meets that lasted all weekend. She was always there program in hand with our names highlighted, circled and starred and all the stats written down for not only us but our competition as well. When going through her things after she had passed away, I found several of those old programs with all of her notes written on them.

My mom was also a mom to all of our friends. Since she was always there, many of my friends developed a relationship with my mom. She was someone they could go to for advice or to look up to. I still look back and wonder how she did it all. She truly was wonder woman. I would give anything to go back to my high school days where everyone hung out at our place. We had pool parties and movie nights all summer long and my mom put up with us all ordering more Domino’s pizza than should be legally allowed. I get why her and my dad did it now. They knew where we were and they knew we were safe.

Nothing ever seemed to phase her. Even after being diagnosed with stage four breast cancer, she had a positive spirit about her. She would always say that you just never know how things will turn out and that you have to keep hope alive. No matter how many relapses she faced or the bad news she continued to hear time and time again, she never complained and never lost her faith. When the doctors told her she only had a 5% chance of making it 5 years, she showed them by making it 6. She was a warrior.

It’s my third mother’s day without my mom and I’ve had many ups and downs in my life since she’s been gone. From getting engaged and planning a wedding to getting my manager promotion and moving to New York City to having the engagement called off and living in a depressed state for a few months before waking up one day realizing that I am okay and to most recently getting elected to serve on my sorority’s International Council. These are ALL things that I would have given anything to be able to share with my mom. The good and the bad – the happy and the sad. There are some moments that the only thing that suffices is knowing that your mom is there. In some of my extreme moments of sadness I’ve caught myself saying I want my mom and I can almost feel her there with me. In moments of celebration and excitement, I often think she should be here with us. Nothing is the same without her.

She always said how proud of me she was for my dedication to my career and to the community. She loved seeing how involved I was and supported me in my endeavors no matter what they were. I so wish she was here now to see the woman I have become. I owe everything to her and I hope to continue living a life she would be proud of.

I carry my mom’s work bag now and I found a sticky note in it that says on the front “One day at a time” and on the back “Matthew 6:34.” It’s not in my mom’s handwriting so I have no idea who gave it to her but whoever you are, know that it must have meant something to her. And now it means something to me. We all need a reminder that all we have is now. So live your best life every day. You never know when it will be your last. I’m sure my mom never expected to leave this earth at the young age of 53 but she lived in those 53 years. Don’t wait to find out you’re dying to start living your life. The truth is that we all already are.

Until next time. XOXO, Alicia.

So I took a little hiatus from the blog. When I started it in January, I really had no idea what to expect. My first blog post had over 5,000 views. I don’t even know that many people so it was exciting to watch the numbers continue to rise. I had committed to myself that I would post once a week and even had a following of people waiting for each post. Then as it often does – life happened.

I am a client services professional and in March, I was assigned to a challenging assignment out of state with a tight deadline. A lack of sleep and continuous travel took over my ability to write posts for the blog. I was exhausted. While I’m still traveling each week, I now feel like I have a bit more room to breathe and wanted to pick this back up. What better way than to start with a topic, I’m currently very familiar with – business travel.

If you follow me on Facebook, you’ll have noticed that I’ve been spending a lot of time in Charlotte, North Carolina. Since I practically live there, I have gotten in a habit of calling the Westin “home” so friends and family aren’t really sure where I am when I talk to them. If you had to guess, I’m probably in Charlotte.

As I type this, I’m at 30,000 feet on my weekly commute to Charlotte. If you think about commutes that New Yorkers typically have, I think I’ve actually gotten the better end of the deal. Instead of a 1 hour commute each way daily, I now only have about a 2 hour commute twice a week.

Since I live in the Upper East Side, the closest airport is LaGuardia in Queens. I just looked it up and it’s approximately 7.7 miles from my apartment. Google maps says it should take about 20 minutes give or take due to traffic. Not too bad for the city. If you’ve been to LaGuardia lately, you’ll know that it’s an absolute maze to get there because of all of the construction. You wind around so many times that you start to wonder if you are actually going anywhere or if the Uber/cab just wants to get more mileage out of you. You may ask why I just don’t go to JFK or Newark instead due to the construction. That my friends is because by the time I would get there, I could probably already be in Charlotte.

This will probably freak some of you out to know but I don’t give myself much room to make my flight. I normally leave my apartment around 5:30 for my 7pm flights. I typically roll in around 6 for a 6:20 boarding time. No misses yet. Thank goodness for TSA Pre-check.

For those of you not familiar with pre-check, it is a service where you can expedite the normal security lines and you don’t have to do those annoying things like take your shoes off or pull your computer or little liquids out of your bag. Definitely a life saver for my cutting it close habits. There is an application and background check process but it’s worth it for those who travel frequently. If I’m going to be spending my time at the airport, I want it to be as minimal of time as possible.

When you fly so much you start getting little perks like flight upgrades. Lately I haven’t been on a flight where I haven’t been at least upgraded to Delta Comfort. First Class upgrades are nice but on such a short flight, the only real difference is they offer you a beverage before the flight takes off and it’s in an actual glass versus a plastic cup. Oh and you definitely have more leg room than the back of the plane. My legs are so short that I don’t really need the extra space but I could see why that would be a plus for taller folks.

Traveling frequently also means that you are bound to deal with delays and cancellations. Some delays are manageable – others have you pulling your hair out. I got my flights cancelled back to NYC two weeks in a row because of the Nor’easter weather so I started packing extra clothes just in case. I also had to deal with a 17 hour string of delays and cancellations due to bad weather two weeks ago that I almost just gave up and went back home instead of trying to deal with it. That day really was a bad case of the Mondays by the time I got to Charlotte. Getting there at 3pm, I lost over half of my day. Unfortunately no amount of status can get you on a plane when no planes are flying. I swear the gate agents have probably heard it all. When they say that there is nothing that they can do, there probably really is nothing that they can do. Your best bet is to be nice to them and when there is one extra seat open on a flight getting out, they may remember you.

When my 6 pm flight home from Charlotte got delayed last week I didn’t want to take any chances so when my app told me I could choose an alternative flight, I did. The 4 pm had also gotten delayed until 5pm and had available seats. There was one problem. We had just left the client and it was already 4:30. I took a chance and changed myself to the 5. We got there by 4:45. I ran through the rental car parking lot as fast as I could and got myself to the security line. The pre-check line was longer than usual but still moved quickly enough. When you have pre-check, you go through a less intrusive body scanner (not the one where you have to cross your arms above your head) and the scanner started beeping when I went through. I thought to myself you have got to be kidding me. The security agent told me that I had been selected for random additional screening. Of course I had. She told me I needed to walk back through until it cleared me. That scanner not only selected me once for additional screening, but THREE times in a row. The lady giggled and said that never happens. Once they checked three of my items and gave me the okay, I went running through the airport. As I got to the gate barely breathing, they were started to close the boarding door but I was able to slip right in before it was shut. Normally when I get on a plane, the first thing I do is shut the window and turn off the air above my head. That day I needed the air on!

While business travel has its perks like earning points and not having to worry about grocery shopping for the week, there are also downfalls. It’s not as easy to maintain a healthy lifestyle on the road. Some nights I eat at 5 star restaurants. Other nights I’m eating 99 cent chicken nuggets at the airport right before my flight takes off.

Before this gets any longer, I’ll cut it off here. Until next week!

Xoxo, Alicia

 

Since moving to NYC this summer, I’ve come across many people that have made an impact on me in some way. Some have made me sad wishing I could do more. Some have humbled me in unexpected ways. Others have scared or frightened me. Some have upset me and some have made me smile. It’s interesting the impact someone can have on you without even saying a word sometimes. I wanted to share a few of those interactions with you. I don’t know their names or their stories but I do know how they made me feel.

You learn quickly that most New Yorkers talk and walk fast with their heads down on a mission to get wherever they are going as quickly as possible. It’s rare to make eye contact with anyone on the street unless it’s a doorman on standby waiting for his residents to come home. I try to smile at people here like I did in Ohio but it is not received in the same way. I’m used to hellos and good mornings but here the best I get are shifty glances and people quickly looking away. It’s like no one interacts with each other – maybe because they are all on their mission and don’t have time for hellos or maybe it’s a deeply routed “don’t talk to strangers” mantra that has stuck.

Tourists are the only ones who seem to walk slowly looking at anything and everything they pass by causing pile ups of those on their mission to get backed up and frustratedly so. There is nothing more annoying when you are trying to make it across the street before the crosswalk changes than someone who just stops in the middle of the sidewalk to take a picture or to check their map on their phone without any regard to the people behind them. It’s honestly surprising to me that more people aren’t injured in the crosswalks as I see more people cross the street when the do not walk signal is lit up than when it is not.

I don’t know that you can call yourself a true New Yorker if you haven’t come in contact with the subway dancers, bucket drummers or singers. They get on your car for a stop or two to entertain you and then ask for money. I was a bit surprised the first time a break dancer was flipping up and down every which way on the poles around me barely missing my face with his shoe on one turn. I could smell the rubber soles as they grazed my cheeks ever so slightly. He then proceeded to say that I owed him because he didn’t kick me during his routine. I probably gave him the most puzzling of stares because he quickly moved on to ask the next person for their money. Some of the musicians are talented and you feel for them. Maybe they will get discovered some day or maybe they will continue to go car to car just to make ends meet. Where do these people go? Do they have jobs or do they really depend on us to get their next meal?

Getting off the subway you run into just as many characters. For several months I saw the same young girl sitting at the exit of my stop. She had straggly brown hair with a dirty face and swollen ankles. She held up a sign that read “Aged out of foster care. Please help.” I would always give her the snacks I carried around with me but I always left her wishing I could do more. Since it has gotten colder outside I haven’t seen her. I wonder if she found a warm place to sleep at night or if she is still on the streets somewhere.

There is another man I see often. He is normally smiling if he’s not sleeping on his suitcase. He cheerfully says hi to everyone who passes. His eyes light up and he gets a big grin on his face when he sees me because he has come to know me as the girl with snacks. He always seems so grateful and he thanks me every time. I went on a walk today and passed where he normally sits and he wasn’t there. I hope he is okay.

Others are not as nice to me when I offer my snacks. One night I was tired and had been out somewhere new and was trying to navigate a different subway station when I came in contact with a man begging for money for food. He told me he was so hungry and that anything would help. I reached in my purse to give him one of my bags of snacks and he threw it at me! What gives? I guess he wasn’t really hungry. I scrambled to pick up the bag up and put it back it my purse. Another night I was leaving my client site pretty late and I was on the phone with my then fiancé. He was always worried when I was walking alone – especially at night so we would talk from the time I left the building to the subway and from the subway home. A man approached me while I was talking and asked me for money for food and I reached in my purse without saying anything and started to hand him the snack bag. He refused and starting cursing at me telling me to get the f*$% away from him! I was shocked at his reaction but tried to maintain my composure without signaling to my fiancé that something was wrong. I don’t think he realized anything had happened at all.

There was also a dirty man with a suitcase in Central Park who looked tired and lonely. As I was walking by I went up to him and asked him if he wanted one of my snacks and he told me that while he was homeless, someone else had just given him some chips so I should save mine for someone who needed it more than he did. That touched my heart. Sometimes the less you have, the more you are aware of other’s needs. Whenever I’m having a bad day, I think of that man and remember that no matter how bad my day is, my basic needs are always met and I thank God for that.

I have more to share but as I’ve already pierced 1,000 words I’ll save the rest for next week. Until next time. ❤ Alicia

I moved to the city during the hottest time of the year – mid July. This summer was especially hot and due to the Amtrak construction going on for emergency repairs at Penn Station, even the governor of New York referred to this summer as the “summer of hell.” Before moving here, I had heard that although summer was hot, there would be less people on the subways and in the city in general to escape the heat. There is a reason summers in NYC are often synonymously thought of as summers in the Hamptons – or so that is what I thought of after watching the series “Revenge” on ABC.

I still need to plan a trip out there to see if all of the hype lives up to the standards. Even last week I saw the Hampton Jitney on the street that is featured in Sex and the City with New Yorkers making the trip to the Hamptons – Not sure what the appeal is during this time of year but to each their own.

I had been to NYC once in June about six years ago to visit my friend Christina. We spent a day in the city and I knew then that visiting in the summer would not be a good idea again. I had worn a dress since we had tickets to see “Anything Goes” on Broadway so I wanted to look nice and that was a mistake. I’m a pretty petite girl but that doesn’t mean that I have ever had a gap between my thighs so I spent the day walking around with the hot New York Sun reflecting down on us from every angle and my legs rubbing together in the most awful way that the inside of my legs ended up feeling like sandpaper when I went to bed that night. There is also the issue of trash in certain areas of the city. It gets piled so high outside the businesses that at night, the trash piles were taller than me. After a day in the sun, they don’t have the most fragrant odor… Let’s just say that I never visited NYC in the summer again and made my annual trip around the holiday season when it is cool out instead.

So why did I decide to move here during the hottest time of the year again? Well in reality it wasn’t much of a choice. Our year end for work is June 30^th and my promotion to Manager was effective July 1^st and with that promotion came my transfer to the city. Since we hired a moving company to move my things in from the Budget Truck, we did not have to do a lot of heavy lifting in the sun that day other than supervise – so that was a relief. But being in a small New York apartment with six people trying to unpack, organize, and build random things from Ikea, it makes for a hot experience. I learned quickly where my window units were in the bedrooms and had them on full blast 24/7. When I got my first utility bill for the partial month (17 days to be exact), I was shocked! $231.66 for my little apartment! A few adjustments and turning off the units when I wasn’t home helped dramatically. The bills have been around $40-$60 per month since. Talk about a huge difference!

Another unexpected issue in the summer months was that my windows in my bedrooms face the east where the sun rises. In the morning as the sun rose, I was instantly awoken due to the brightness and felt as if I was on fire as the heat of the sun pierced through my windows directly at my spot on the bed. When talking to other residents that live on the same side of the building as I, they told me that the only solution was black out curtains (which I still have not had installed). One resident told me that the sun completely bleached the side of her bedroom set that was in the direct path of the sun’s rays. Talk about being able to get a tan without even stepping outside or into a tanning bed! Once I put up my curtains it helped a little bit but mainly I just rolled to the other side of the bed when I needed to in the mornings. It sure made for a beautiful view every morning seeing the sunrise over the East River.

Although hot outside, it wasn’t as hot as I remembered during my summer visit. It was bearable but I also had a place in the city to come and change if needed. I think my cousin took that notion seriously and took multiple showers per day when she was here visiting. The first time I did laundry I had a whole washer full of just bath towels. I couldn’t understand why the ratio of towels to people was more than double. When you have to pay to use the machines on a per use basis, you learn to ration what you use on a daily basis to avoid having to use multiple machines.

I remember one hot day in particular when I was making my daily commute down to the financial district via the 4/5 Express Subway Train. I must have gotten on a car without Air Conditioning without realizing it. It was especially crowded because I chose to make my commute in the heart of rush hour. I was still learning the city and had not quite gotten into a groove to know the best time of day to leave my apartment. Rush Hour starts around 7am and goes until around 9am on my trains. I realized that I could get up early and try to beat it or go in a little later and miss it. Since I am not a morning person AT ALL, I have chosen the latter. That day it was so crowded on the train I was standing body to body with the other commuters. It was so hot that I could feel the sweat dripping down my forehead, on my chest and down my legs. I was so uncomfortable. I would look around at the other commuters and I didn’t see any sweat on them at all. I was confused how I could be the only one drenched in sweat perspiring at that rate! They must have either been used to it or able to conceal it better than I was. I have about 10 stops between my apartment and my client site and I can typically sit down within the first three stops but not that day. I had to stand the entire way which takes about 40 minutes on the train alone. When I got into work, I immediately went to the bathroom and was rubbing myself down with paper towels before I ran into anyone I knew. When I walked into the audit room I told my team about the train ride and they asked me about the air conditioning. I never made that mistake again!

One of the good things about the summertime is how light it stays in the evening. I would get home from work and still be able to enjoy the day. I could go for a walk around Central Park since it was only a couple blocks away or I could explore new places in my neighborhood. Every day was truly an adventure. I look forward to sharing those adventures with you each week. Until next time ❤

The ten days that followed the apartment hunt before moving to the city were filled with many emotions – excitement to finally start this new chapter in my life, sadness to leave the life I had built behind and nervousness to know if I could actually make it in the big apple. Like Frank Sinatra said, “If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere.” I didn’t want to let myself down after how much I wanted this.

Immediately once I got back to Ohio, I felt the pressure of all I had to do. I had been on a special project in Cleveland for the past few months before moving so I hadn’t had time to start packing. When you live in the same place for over 5 years, you don’t realize how much you accumulate and can fit into a one bedroom apartment. Packing was a daunting task to say the least! There were many sleepless nights spent with my aunt Missy trying to get it all packed up in time. Knowing I was moving to NYC, where space is tight, I knew I couldn’t just pack everything and take it with me. For every piece of clothing I packed, I left two behind. And for those of you that know me, you know how many clothes we are talking about… Luckily I still have a room at my dad’s house where I can store all of the belongings that got left behind.

Family and friends celebrated the fourth of July at my dad’s house – one year from the day I met my then fiancé. Walking down the street hand in hand with him to watch fireworks at the end of the night, it dawned on me that I wasn’t going to just be down the hall from him in the apartment anymore. I had gotten spoiled by his close proximity and always having someone to do something with. I wished he was moving with me then but since he hadn’t gotten a job in NYC yet, the plan was for me to go on ahead without him and he would join me when he could.

I also had two going away parties – one in my home town at my dad’s house with friends and family and the other in Columbus with co-workers and friends. I realized how many people I would miss seeing on a regular basis. Thankfully there is social media to keep up but it definitely isn’t the same. When I first moved to Columbus in 2012, I had no friends in the area and five years later, I was celebrating in a restaurant full of people that had become near and dear to my heart.

I got to go golfing one last time with my uncle Durward who had signed me up for lessons the summer before. The instructor said I had potential but without the ability to practice too often, that potential didn’t become much more than that.

I spent the last weekend in Indianapolis with my sorority for a leadership conference where we unveiled that our new philanthropic focus would be fighting hunger. That couldn’t have ended up being more in line with one of the issues I face every single day in NYC. I constantly see people with signs saying they are hungry or see people pick through the trash. It breaks my heart to not being able to help everyone. My aunts Missy and Michelle send me care packages to put together bags with snacks and wipes that I can carry around with me to hand out if I see someone in need. It’s not much but it’s something and most of the time, the people seem appreciative. I’ve run into a few not so grateful people but I’ll tell those stories another time.

As soon as I pulled in the driveway that Sunday from the conference, we loaded up to head to NYC. My dad and Oleh had packed up the budget truck the night before so we could get on the road as soon as possible. My dad, Oleh, my sister Amelia, my aunt Missy and my cousin Sheila came along for the ride. And oh what a ride it would be!

I was driving my aunt’s van with all of the girls and my dad and Oleh were in the truck. It was already late afternoon so we wanted to try to get as far as we could that evening. We had movers meeting us at the apartment in the morning at 10 so we couldn’t be late. At one point on 71, the budget truck got stuck behind a semi, so I went around them so I could maintain a normal speed. Apparently that was a bad idea! Oleh was always a quick driver and the idea that I took the lead was not acceptable so he tried to speed up to catch me. As the highway took a bend, he sped up so quick and whipped in right in front of the car in front of me barely letting the car next to us get by. In that moment, my heart was pounding so fast. We wanted to make it to New York alive so I had to slow down at that point to encourage him to slow down too.

As night fell and we crossed the state line into Pennsylvania, we knew we would have to stop for food and gas. It would have to be a semi quick stop since we still had a ways to go so we stopped at a gas station that had a restaurant attached to it. Oleh was in a grumpy mood as he was still upset that I passed him on the road. I told him I didn’t realize I was supposed to stay behind him the whole time since we both have a GPS on our phones. It’s not the olden days where you actually had to all stay together. He and Amelia then got into a bit of a tizzy over what the plan from there was. He wanted to check into a hotel while the rest of us thought it would be better to keep going. We didn’t want to get stuck in rush hour traffic trying to get into the city in the morning. After some choice words were spoken, it was settled that we would stop at a rest area if needed since we would have minimal time to spare. We stopped for about an hour somewhere in the pitch black woods of Pennsylvania. Oleh was still pretty upset that we weren’t staying in a hotel so he got out of the truck and tried to sleep on top of a picnic table in front of the car – a sight I’ll never forget! Let’s just say that didn’t last too long before he climbed back in the truck!

From there we only had about three hours to go. We thought surely we would beat the Monday morning traffic, but wrong we were. That three hours vastly multiplied. We finally passed through New Jersey and crossed over the George Washington Bridge where my emotions started to overtake me. This was it. This was my new home. Seeing the “Welcome to New York” sign was years in the making and I almost couldn’t believe it was actually happening. I was going to be a real life New Yorker.

Since my apartment is on the Upper East Side, that bridge is only about 6 miles away. That last 6 miles took over an hour in traffic! I could have ran there faster! The movers were already there waiting for us when we arrived. We had only made the reservation for them to help us with the bigger items and a few boxes since we thought we could handle the rest but the movers assured me that they would do it all faster than we could and wouldn’t charge us any additional fees. We were unsure at first but we let them – and we weren’t charged any more thankfully! We took shifts sitting out in the hot sun on the street guarding the truck while they took load after load in. One man on the street asked my sister and I if we thought the street was our backyard but we didn’t care. The movers even put my bed together for me! It was so worth it! Instead of making many trips on our own, the movers got it all done in a matter of a couple hours!

Unpacking was even more stressful than packing. When you have limited space and a lot of stuff (and a lot of people), tensions sure get high! Not to mention the ratio of six people to one bathroom… We made an Ikea run in Jersey and put my whole guest bedroom together with new items we got there (or I should say my aunt Missy put it all together!) It was stressful and there were a few arguments along the way but somehow we managed and everything got put in its place.

In the last few days with my family there, we also managed to make time for sightseeing and my sister and I saw Anastasia on Broadway. Before Oleh flew back since he had to be back at work, we spent a whole day together walking around our new neighborhood while my family went off on their own. We went to breakfast at a little diner on the corner, visited the Met, we walked around the Jackie Kennedy Onassis Reservoir in Central Park, walked to Carl Schurz park along the East River, and got some desserts at a little French restaurant on my block. I was sad to see him go. He was sad too. I could see it in his eyes. He wanted to be able to protect me and didn’t know how he could so far away. I assured him I would be okay but it didn’t make it any easier to say goodbye.

When the rest of my family left two days later, it really hit me that I was on my own. I had been on my own for five years in Columbus, but this was different. I was no longer an hour away to be able to come home on a moment’s notice if needed. Since my mom was sick the whole time I was in Columbus before she died, I had gotten used to seeing my family almost every weekend. This was going to be an adjustment on many levels. I was alone.

In a city with millions of people, I found myself in a whole new world – one in which I would have to make a new path for myself. A new start – a new beginning. The world was now at my fingertips and I could feel it.

 

Some of the places and companies featured in the blog tonight:

https://www.shleppers.com/

https://www.metmuseum.org/

https://www.centralpark.com/things-to-do/attractions/reservoir/

https://www.carlschurzparknyc.org/

http://maison-kayser-usa.com/

 

As I sit here on my couch in my Upper East Side Apartment looking out of my window at the NYC skyline, I realize how much my life has changed in the past few years. I remember when living in NYC was just a dream that I never knew would really come to fruition. The first time I realized I wanted to live here was a trip I took to the city with my sister. I only went because my mom didn’t want Amelia to come alone. She had an interview weekend with the company she was interning with at the time. I wasn’t able to accompany her at any of the events they held so I had to keep myself entertained. I sat in coffee shops and walked around the city by myself. I sat on a bench next to the Hudson River watching countless runners pass me by. I listened to conversations of those around me wondering what it would be like to actually live here. That visit was in March of 2014 – almost four years ago. At that time I knew that it was just a dream. I was getting close to a promotion at my firm that I had been working really hard for and my mom was ill. My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer when I was a senior in college at FSU. I was studying abroad in London when the diagnosis came. To say that was a hard time to be away from home is an understatement. I took so many pictures while I was there and uploaded them daily so my mom could look at them while she was in the hospital. You can still go back to my Facebook albums and see all of the pictures. Many friends and family members commented that there were too many to look at but I know my mom looked at every single one. When I graduated from FSU, I knew that I had to move back home to be close to my mom so I accepted a position in Columbus, an hour away. I spent most of my weekends at home spending time with my family and in 2014, I had been with the firm for about two years. After that trip with my sister, I started looking online at NYC apartments and made a list of what I thought were things I couldn’t live without. I actually went back and referenced that list on my phone when it came time to move three years later.

My list included the following:

• Doorman
• Laundry in building or hook-up
• Air Conditioning
• Dishwasher
• Walk in Closet
• Elevator
• WiFi
• Brick Exposed Wall for character
• Hardwood Floors
• Bedroom large enough for a queen size bed and a dresser

I ended up getting everything but the brick exposed wall and hardwood floors. I’d say that’s not too shabby when you consider the NYC rental market. I’ll get back to that later on.

[My sister and I in NYC in 2014]

I ended up getting my promotion early in the firm and in the fall of 2015 after we got some good news about my mom’s health, I decided it was time to seriously entertain the idea of moving to NYC. I told the HR department and my career coach that I would like to transfer sometime the next fall in 2016 before the 2017 busy season started and they encouraged me to wait it out until after that busy season when I would be up for my next promotion. I reluctantly agreed knowing that I would have to wait at least a year and a half. Not two weeks later, my mom ended up in the hospital with a horrific brain bleed caused by her cancer spreading into her spinal fluid and she was considered a non-survivable admit. I could write an entire book on the months we spent in the hospital but I won’t – at least not now. I will say this though – she did survive the brain bleed and we had four more months with my mom before she passed away from the cancer spreading during that time. The weeks following my mom’s death were a dark time for myself and my family. Our family was shown so much kindness and I’ll never forget it from those who drew near to us. After her death, I went back to work and to my life with a new sense of purpose. I wanted to continue living my life in a way that would make my mom proud of me. I was sad and grieving in my own way but I had a new spring in my step. I knew that life was short and that you had to make every moment count. I went on new adventures and signed up to help out in the community as much as my schedule would allow. I took care of my staff at work and I made sure to make time for friends and family near and far. I even challenged myself and starting running races. I used to be the person who would say if you see me running it’s only because someone must be chasing me, but lo and behold in that year, I ran my first half marathon. I even met the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with but that’s a sad story for another day. Losing my mom was terrible, but it gave me the courage to live out my dreams and in January of 2017, I finally got the call from HR that my transfer to NYC was actually happening.

My search for an apartment went into high gear. I spent so much time on the internet looking at all sorts of online listings trying to figure out which apartment would be the perfect one for me (and my then fiancé). Let me tell you moving to NYC is like moving to no other place in the world. I would call places I was interested in and they would tell me that I was calling much too soon. Even bigger buildings were telling me that I needed to wait to contact them until a month out from my move date. Talk about a high stress situation for a type A personality who loves to plan. My transfer date was July 1^st and even in May, it was too soon to look for an apartment. I was working on a special project in Cleveland at the time with a whole slew of New Yorkers and they gave me lots of advice. One of them even gave me the name of the real estate firm she worked with when she moved to the city. I called them and we set a date for a time for me to visit the city to check out apartments. That date was only about two weeks from my move in date.

My real estate broker was extremely nice but after hearing the list of things I could not live without, she said that I was up for quite a surprise. I couldn’t understand why she was so skeptical when I had found so many places online that looked like they were in my price range with everything I wanted and more. Oh but I did once I got here. She had sent me several listings to look at before I arrived. These listings are shady at best. They always seem to leave out pertinent information and the square footage is something no one ever speaks of. However we were able to come to a consensus and we had a healthy list of options to look at when I was to arrive. She also told me I would need to sign an agreement with her before she showed me any apartments guaranteeing that I would pay her the broker fee of 15% of my annual rent which equates to around two months rent and that I would need to bring the following items to make an offer on an apartment.

• Employment letter proving you make 40 times the monthly rent (yes you read that right)
• Two years of tax returns
• Two months of bank statements and any other savings or 401k accounts that you have
• Two most recent pay stubs
• Most recent landlord reference letter
• Enlarged copy of photo ID

I knew getting an apartment in NYC would be challenging but I did not realize it would be like buying a house! I also didn’t realize how much money I would need to make it happen. I had been saving up but not nearly as much as I needed to have saved. Before even moving in I would need to be able to put down two months rent and the broker fee. I had calculated that I could afford around $2,500 – $3,000 per month, especially with the added help of my fiancé, so that meant in total we would need to put down $12,000.

I knew I wanted to live on the Upper East Side near Central Park. Nearly every movie in NYC has scenes in the park and I knew I had to be close by. The UES was also depicted as a safe, family-oriented area and not really being a party person, I knew that this area was the place for me. When I met the broker on that Sunday morning and we started our jaunt, I was feeling excited and nervous at the same time that this was finally happening. The first apartment she took us to was nothing like I had asked for. It wasn’t even in the right area. It was a six floor walk-up in midtown. By the time we got to the sixth floor I knew I didn’t want the apartment before we even stepped inside. I could just imagine carrying my groceries up and laundry down toppling all the while. Not to mention what it would be like if I was running late for work or if my shoes were slick from rain or snow outside. It wasn’t a bad apartment on the inside. It was actually a two bedroom like we had asked for but there was no use in spending much time there since we knew it was an absolute no. The next building we went to was an elevator building with a doorman, laundry in the building and a gym. The apartment was a large one bedroom that had been previously converted into two with an amazing view. It was more expensive than we wanted but with all of the features, we knew it was in the running. She did take us to one of the apartments I had found online that I thought was a great deal for a true two-bedroom in the UES for $2,500. What they didn’t tell you online is that the second bedroom was in exchange for the living room. The layout I saw online showed the hallway as the living room. Let me tell you that you couldn’t even fit a coffee table in the “living room” let alone a couch. The broker explained that many listings online are like that. She also said that listings will combine several apartments in one when they post pictures. It all started to make sense as I realize when I was looking at pictures that some apartments would appear to have different kitchens or bathrooms based on the pictures posted. We saw a total of 12 apartments that day. There were three we really liked including the second apartment we saw above. One of the others was an airy fourth floor walk-up that had beautiful French doors into the master bedroom, a true second bedroom and an updated kitchen. The last one we really liked was another doorman building with updated features throughout and an amazing closet. I knew I wouldn’t be happy in the walk-up so that one was removed from the list. The two doorman buildings came down to location and the fact that the more updated one could not be converted into a two bedroom. So we ended up putting an offer down on the second apartment we saw that day. After talking with a few realtors, it became clear that the second place you see tends to be the one you go with. She took us to a place she knew we would say no to first and then charmed us with a more expensive second option. The day overall was tiring and most of the time I had no idea where I really was in the city. As much as the broker fee was, I don’t think I would have been able to find an apartment on my own in that short of time frame without any true connections to the city.

Once we put the offer in, we had to wait two days to find out if we had gotten approved for the apartment. On Wednesday morning I took a bus into the city from my friend Christina’s place in New Jersey and traffic was absolutely terrible. The normally thirty minute bus ride took almost two hours that day. I got into the office in midtown around 10 am. Shortly after arriving, I got a text from the broker letting me know that I had been approved for the apartment and that I needed to have a certified check to the rental office by 3 pm that day. There were two problems standing in my way. The first was that I had a meeting downtown to meet my new coworkers at my new client at noon and would need to leave the midtown office by 11 am to get there in time. The second was that I had told the broker since I banked with a local credit union, I would not be able to get a certified check at that little notice. I began to panic. Luckily my best friend worked at the credit union and I called her to see what could be done. As I made my way across the city, she searched for shared banking for me to be able to get a certified check in time. She found a bank on 59^th street that I could go to after my meeting downtown. I called them and asked them but there was yet another problem. The amount I needed was over the limit for share banking. I called my friend again and she had a letter written for me to get approval for the amount on a one time basis. The trouble was whether or not she could get a supervisor to sign and fax it in time. I sat in my meeting at my new client sweating over whether or not the fax would get there in time. As soon as it was over, I jumped back on the subway and got off at 59^th street. When I couldn’t find this bank I started to panic. I then realized I was on the east side and the bank was on the west side. It was already after 2 pm. I jumped in a cab and got to the bank and I ran into another problem. The bank was inside the ABC building and I didn’t have a pass to get inside. I had to beg the guards to let me in. Finally someone at the bank told the guards that they had gotten a phone call from my bank so they let me in. I stood in front of the teller nervously waiting to find out if the fax had came in approving me to get a check over the limit. It had! They got me my certified check and I ran out of the building as fast as I can to hail a cab back to the east side. The rental office was on 57^th street. While I was in the cab, my broker was texting me that I was late and that she didn’t know if they would hold the apartment for me. I was leaving the next day so I had to get this apartment! My blood was pumping fast and I was sweating with anxiety. I got out of the cab and could not find the building. The broker had transposed the address in her message so I was spinning trying to find a building that didn’t exist. I called her and realized where it was. Once I got up to the right floor covered in sweat, she told me we would have to see if the property manager was still willing to see me. Once we got word that she would, my broker told me she had to leave to make her next appointment and that I would have to do this on my own. What? I was already flustered and now she was leaving me. I sat down with the property manager as she went through every place I needed to sign. She expected me to sign it without reading it. When I started to read through every page, she left me and told me she would come back when I was done. I had a whole slew of questions for her when she came back. When you are paying that much money, you have to make sure you know what you are signing. One of the most interesting things I read in the contract was that if I had servants they were required to use a different elevator… Funny thing since my building only has one set of elevators.

At the end of the appointment, I walked away with a NYC apartment in the UES. I was so exhausted and stressed out that I walked to my hotel at 5 pm and called it a day. As crazy as the apartment search was that day, I’m glad it all worked out the way it did. As I sit here writing this today admiring my view, I know I made the right choice. NYC has so much to offer and I’m going to take it up on as many things as I can. #aliciainthecity